Spears: Recklessly drove her SUV with her 4 month-old son in her lap
Cheney: Accidentally shot 78 year-old hunting companion in the face while out shooting quail
Edge: Dick
Spears: Had driving license at the time
Cheney: Was not licensed for hunting birds at the time
Edge: Britney
Spears: Initially tried to escape notice
Cheney: Initially tried to suppress story
Edge: Tie
Spears: Immediately became the butt of jokes by Jay Leno, Jon Stewart, and David Letterman
Cheney: Immediately became the butt of jokes by Jay Leno, Jon Stewart, and David Letterman
Edge: Tie
Spears: Blamed the press
Cheney: The White House blamed the hunting companion
Edge: Tie
Spears: Apologized publicly for setting bad driving example
Cheney: Has not apologized publicly setting bad hunting example
Edge: Britney
Spears: No charges laid
Cheney: Given a warning citation by Texas Parks and Wildlife
Edge: Britney
Spears: Criticized as “irresponsible” by US Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta
Cheney: Criticized by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals president Ingrid Newkirk
Edge: Dick
Spears: Extenuating circumstances—married to Kevin Federline
Cheney: Extenuating circumstances—works for George W. Bush
Edge: Dick
Final Result: Tie
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